Right, I’ll tell you what I think, right, what I think is that of the three of these original games (sixty-sixth ninety-ninths of which are, again, making their UK PSN debut this week) Resident Evil 3: Nemesis is arguably most worth the £7.99 price tag. Like I said earlier this week, I’d still probably sooner play the first game in the series for sheer shits n titters but there’s no way I’m stupid enough not to realise that Resident Evil 3 is the best of the bunch and probably my favourite game on Playstation.
What it plays like is like an hyperadrenalized version of Resident Evil 2, making use of some of the same locations before abandoning them completely for a more complete picture of the last days, literally, of Raccoon City. Jill Valentine returns from the first game in a miniskirt and what I’m reliably informed is called a boob tube to blast her way through the city in a desperate bid to escape the clutches of the zombie hordes and brand new terror Nemesis, a ten-foot tall bastard who pops up every now and then just to make sure your life expectancy isn’t quite as lengthy as that of those who don’t play Resident Evil games. Boasting a nasty scar and a rocket launcher made out of what looks like corned beef, he’s the driving force behind the game and the earliest of Capcom’s forays into ramping up the action years before Chris Redfield was cracking eggs off of his head-sized biceps and diving through windows. To be fair, Nemesis does his fair share of diving through windows too, but the reason it works is because Jill, outfitted perhaps less than practically, is worth worrying about most of the time because she’s not some invincible grunt from a Michael Bay film. Yet…
That’s not to say that there’s not an abundance of ammo, and in fact one of the very things that fans balked at back in the day was the increase in weaponry and supplies throughout the game’s story. New ammo creation tools allow you to experiment with various foods for your hungry lil’ bazookae, and there’s an option to start the game with a loaded machine gun if you so desire (which, for carefree zomboid blasting, is the path of least resistance and most fun). Despite that, the game is still scary, albeit in a considerably more visceral way than its often-creepy predecessors. It also boasts Carlos Olivera, a classic Resi archetype whose introductory conversational gambit of “all the ladies love my sexy accent” is only bested by his disgust for zombies, screaming “SCUM!” at the hapless terrors as he blasts them to tiny tiny pieces.
His team leader Nicholai is another shady Wesker-type in charge of a small group of ‘crack commandos’ with motives known only to him, and really, given his attitude towards human life and the depth of the evil that drives him, isn’t man the worst monster of all?
It’s definitely Nemesis. Just fucking look at him –
Running about the place in his fancy coat (who at Umbrella decided all their monsters ought to wear these heavy duty trenchcoats, it’s not like these cats could ever pass for human fercryinoutloud), up to divilment and generally actin’ the maggot, he’s one of the best things in the series and Capcom never really topped him. I mean, Bandersnatches? Come ON!
So, what have we learned?
1) DO buy Resident Evil: Director’s Cut from PSN safe in my guarantee that a) your nostalgic experiences will not be ruined or b) your first experience uncompromised by really terrible re-scoring
2) DO buy Resident Evil 2 and enjoy its crossover stories and all-round excellence
3) EVEN DOER buy Resident Evil 3: Nemesis, an action classic through and through.
4) DO NOT drink orange juice after brushing your teeth. Who the fuck eats their breakfast after brushing their teeth anyway?
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